Idk. Idk. Idk.

“Sometimes It seems I don’t know what I want
– I don’t know what is wrong or right
All I know is I’ve been on my own for a while now,
& I love being on my own.
Actually push people away so I can be on my own.
Then you came along,  /*Still don’t know how or when I fell.*/
And I don’t know how to be free.
I don’t know if free is right or wrong.
Everything is all rigid and straight-forward on this side
& I’m used to it,
I don’t like change or being confused or adapting,
Stuck with doubts that say I’m better off alone for a while longer
– I can’t hurt me anyway.
It’ll be me, God, food, series, family, friends but no “feelings”
It may get lonely but it’s always fine in the end.
Ice cream, music and Skype nights with my BFFs make that certain.
Drama, I know. Pretty much sums me up right now. I want to trust so bad but I don’t.
Every other day someone gives me a reason why it’s not safe to trust.”

“I know what I want,
I want you,
Yes, You.
I want to believe you.
I want to love God and love you too,
No compromise in my relationship with Him.
I want to “really” kiss you freely and talk about everything with you,
I want to play video games, tease and be silly with you, be there, be happy, get forehead kisses,
make bets with you, watch series with head on your chest and rant all day,
have those little fights that leave me seething for tops 2 hours,
have lazy stuffed-on-pizza Saturdays with you,
Oh exercise with you ._. “Potential Fit Fam” here ^_^
All these and more…”

How do you know what you want but the only thing stopping you from getting it is you…

 

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Author:

20. In Love with Jesus. Thinker. Blessed. iLove my mum.

2 thoughts on “Idk. Idk. Idk.

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